How to Tell your Manager about a Menstrual Health Condition

Talking to your manager about a menstrual health condition can feel really daunting, particularly if you are not used to discussing your health at work. You might be wondering how much you need to share, whether they will understand, or whether being honest about what you are going through could somehow change the way they see you. There can be a real fear that admitting you are struggling will make you look less capable, less reliable or less able to handle your role, especially in workplaces where menstrual and hormonal health are still not talked about particularly openly.

Whether you are living with endometriosis, adenomyosis, PMDD, PCOS, heavy or painful periods, perimenopause or another condition that affects you around your menstrual cycle, trying to hide what is happening while carrying on as normal can take a huge amount of energy. You might be sitting through meetings in pain, struggling to concentrate through brain fog, worrying about bleeding through your clothes, pushing through fatigue or trying to keep yourself together emotionally while everyone around you assumes you are fine. Over time, that kind of masking can become exhausting.

Of course, you do not have to tell your employer anything you do not want to. Your health is personal, and disclosure is a choice. But if your symptoms are affecting you at work, opening up to your manager, HR team or another trusted person can make it much easier to get the support you need. Sometimes simply helping somebody understand what is going on can take away some of the pressure you have been carrying alone.

If you are thinking about having that conversation, here are a few things that might help.

Start by thinking about what you actually need

Before you speak to your manager, it can help to spend a little time thinking about what you want them to understand and what you would like to come out of the conversation. You do not need to give them your entire medical history or explain every symptom you have ever experienced. In many cases, it is more helpful to focus on how the condition affects you at work and what might make things more manageable.

Perhaps pain makes commuting particularly difficult on certain days, or your concentration drops significantly during the week before your period. Maybe heavy bleeding means you need easier access to a toilet, or severe fatigue makes back-to-back meetings difficult. You might still be perfectly able to do your job, but find that having the option to work from home occasionally or move a non-urgent meeting gives you the flexibility you need to manage your symptoms without your work suffering.

Knowing what you want to communicate beforehand can make the conversation feel much less overwhelming because you are not trying to explain everything all at once. You are simply helping your manager understand what is happening and what support could make a difference.

Know your rights at work

It is also worth having a basic understanding of your rights before you go into the conversation. Some menstrual health conditions can meet the legal definition of disability under the Equality Act 2010 if they have a substantial and long-term negative effect on your ability to carry out normal day-to-day activities. Where that definition is met, an employer may have a legal duty to make reasonable adjustments.

What matters is not simply the name of the diagnosis, but the impact the condition has on you. Two people can have the same diagnosis and experience it very differently, which is why the focus is on how your health affects your day-to-day life and ability to work.

Depending on your circumstances, you may also be able to access practical support through the government’s Access to Work scheme. If you are unsure what applies to your situation, Acas can also provide independent guidance on workplace rights and reasonable adjustments.

Think about what would actually make work easier

You know your body and your symptoms better than anyone else, so it can be useful to think about the things that genuinely help you function at your best. There is no standard list of adjustments for menstrual health because the right support will depend on the person, the condition and the type of work they do.

For some people, having the option to work from home on particularly difficult days can make a huge difference. For others, it might be flexibility around start and finish times, easier access to toilets, shorter or more frequent breaks, fewer long journeys, less travel at certain times of the month, more control over when meetings are scheduled, or somewhere private to rest or take medication. In some workplaces, it might also be helpful to review uniform requirements or the way recurring absences are recorded and managed.

Sometimes relatively small changes can make work far more manageable, and asking for support does not necessarily mean asking to work less. Often, the right adjustment is what allows somebody to continue performing well without having to push through symptoms in a way that is unsustainable.

You also do not need to walk into the meeting with the perfect solution already worked out. It is completely reasonable to explain what you are struggling with and ask your manager to explore possible options with you.

Choose a time when you feel able to have the conversation

If your symptoms fluctuate, try to choose a time when you feel relatively well and have the capacity to advocate for yourself. If there are certain points in your cycle when you tend to feel clearer, more confident or more emotionally steady, it may make sense to arrange the conversation then. Equally, if fatigue tends to get worse later in the day, you might prefer to schedule the meeting in the morning.

It can also help to give yourself some breathing room beforehand rather than squeezing the conversation between other meetings. Writing down the main points you want to cover can be useful, particularly if you are worried that nerves or emotion might make it difficult to remember everything you wanted to say.

And if you do get emotional, that does not mean the conversation has gone badly. You are talking about something personal that may have been affecting your health, confidence and day-to-day life for a long time. You do not need to deliver a perfectly polished explanation for your experience to be taken seriously.

Decide how you would prefer to talk about it

Some people feel much more comfortable explaining everything in writing, while others prefer to speak face-to-face. There is no one right way to do it.

If writing things down feels safer, you might send a short email asking for a confidential conversation and explaining briefly that a health condition has been affecting you at work. If you would rather talk, having the conversation in person or over a video call can give you more space to explain what is going on and allow your manager to ask questions.

You do not have to start by sharing every detail. You could simply say, “I wanted to have a confidential conversation about a health condition that has been affecting me at work. I’d really like to talk about what might help.”

That is enough to open the door.

Explain the pattern if your symptoms are cyclical

One of the things that can make menstrual health conditions particularly difficult at work is that symptoms often fluctuate. You might feel completely well for part of the month and then experience a significant change in pain, energy, concentration, sleep or mood at another point in your cycle. If your manager does not understand that pattern, it can be difficult for them to make sense of why your needs seem to change from one week to another.

Explaining the cyclical nature of your symptoms can therefore be really helpful. You might say that your symptoms tend to get much worse in the week before your period, or that the first few days of menstruation are when pain and fatigue are at their most severe. This can help your manager understand that the problem is not inconsistency or lack of commitment, but a health condition that has a predictable pattern.

If you are able to anticipate when symptoms are likely to be worse, it may also make it easier to plan ahead. That could mean keeping certain days lighter where possible, reducing travel, avoiding back-to-back meetings or making use of flexible working arrangements.

Take information with you if it would help

You should not have to become the workplace expert on your own condition just because you are the person living with it, but realistically, your manager may never have heard of conditions such as PMDD or adenomyosis. Even relatively common conditions like endometriosis are still poorly understood in many workplaces.

If you think it would make the conversation easier, you could share some information from a trusted health organisation or your healthcare provider. Sometimes having something objective to refer to can take some of the pressure off you, particularly if your symptoms are largely invisible.

It can also help your manager understand that what you are experiencing is a recognised health issue rather than something you should simply be expected to push through.

Speak to someone you trust first

If the thought of going straight to your manager feels overwhelming, it can be useful to talk to somebody else first. That might be a trusted colleague, somebody in HR, an occupational health professional, a union representative or simply a friend outside work.

Sometimes just saying the words out loud to another person helps you work out how you want to explain things, and it can make the eventual conversation feel much less intimidating. You may also find that once you start talking about menstrual health, other people open up about their own experiences too.

These conditions are far more common than many workplaces realise, and you are very unlikely to be the only person trying to manage menstrual or hormonal symptoms alongside work.

Remember that you do not have to solve everything in one meeting

The first conversation does not need to result in a perfect long-term plan. In many cases, it makes sense to agree to try something for a period of time and then review whether it is helping.

You might discover that working from home on certain days makes a huge difference, or that something you thought would help turns out not to be particularly useful. Your symptoms may change, your treatment may change, or the demands of your role may change too.

Good support at work should be flexible enough to evolve with you. It can be an ongoing conversation rather than a one-off request that you are expected to get right the first time.

You do not have to wait until things become unbearable

Perhaps the most important thing to remember is that you do not have to prove how unwell you are before you deserve support.

It is very common for people with menstrual health conditions to minimise what they are experiencing because they are worried about being judged or seen as difficult. They keep pushing, keep masking and keep finding ways to get through the day until things become much harder than they needed to be.

Menstrual health conditions can affect your physical health, mental health, energy, confidence and ability to work in ways that other people simply cannot see. Asking for some flexibility or support does not mean you are incapable of doing your job. In many cases, the right support is exactly what allows somebody to continue doing their job well and stay healthy at the same time.

What other people have experienced

“I found out a change of line management meant switching from a female to a male manager. I thought it was bad enough having all these stressful symptoms without then having to tell them to a man! But I could not have been more wrong. I received the empathy and support any employee could wish for and was supported perfectly through some of the worst times of my life.” - Kristi

“In ‘Hell Week’ I can work from home more. It’s being able to plan ahead which is really important so I can manage my health and work.” - Annika

“My management has been supportive. I can say, ‘It’s a tough day, bear with me,’ and my manager gives me the space they know is helpful to me.” - Jenny

Want to make these conversations easier in your workplace?

One of the best things an organisation can do is make sure employees do not have to explain everything from scratch every time they ask for help. When managers already understand menstrual and hormonal health, these conversations become much easier, more human and far less intimidating.

At See Her Thrive, we help organisations understand how hormonal health can affect people at work and, more importantly, what good support actually looks like in practice. Through talks, workshops, manager training and consultancy, we help managers feel more confident having these conversations and support organisations to create workplaces where people can ask for help without worrying about how they will be perceived.

Because support for menstrual and hormonal health should not depend on whether somebody happens to have an exceptionally understanding manager. It should simply be part of creating a good workplace.

Explore our services or get in touch to talk about how we could support your organisation.